Happy belated New Year, beautiful!
Greetings and happy belated new year, to you, my beautiful reader!
I know I’ve been sort of MIA these past few months…truly, the older I get, the faster time seems to go… perhaps it’s the vast accumulation of wisdom, that now makes time feel faster, in a maturing brain?
Seriously though, I feel after all this time, it is only proper we get more personal here, because, well, you probably know very little about me!
I am a wife and stay at home mom of 2 kids. I love reading, writing (obviously!), music, deep conversation, and learning. I probably have an opinion about everything. But (here’s the clincher) I am always open to debate that fosters a deeper understanding for alternate viewpoints, and - although this is rare - might even change my mind!
For me, there is nothing more exhilarating - and humbling - than a compassionate, logical exchange that opens up a world I never knew!
As is the lovely insistence of life, the kids are getting older… they are now 3rd and 5th graders. I am excited to see them blossom, and nostalgic when I think of days of old and what’s to come, knowing they will have to spread their wings wider with every passing year. I know every mom says this, but I am very proud and happy with them. A complete life, is one with children in it. Even if they are not your own, perhaps you are a teacher or an aunt. Children are life’s honey and bees. (if you run like a lunatic when bees chase you, but know you still look at bees with a sense of wonder and admiration, you get what I mean…)
My husband of almost 13 years now is the typical SoCal workaholic, because that is survival mode of the times. He is an ingenious, witty engineer. He is also my official blogging editor. I tend to go down windy paths of details and side stories - he keeps me on track. He is the laughter of our family, and keeps things light. So I guess you can say, while he keeps my stories grounded, he keeps the family rolling from laughter. For this introverted writer, who sometimes feels and thinks too much, he shows me how life is truly lived.
I used to be what is called a “professional,” with all the honors, perks, and struggles of a working electrical engineer mom in a male dominated field. I used to have colleagues and when feeling down, go on shopping sprees while the kids were at childcare. I would practice 2 hour sweaty yoga classes with a teacher who pushed me hard. Of course, everyday I went, I was terrified it could very well be the day my teacher broke my back. My mantra was the famous Lululemon, “Do something that scares you.” So we called it discipline and strength to show up to such a yoga practice, because I thought it was good for me. I mean, have you ever heard someone say yoga was bad for you? Exactly…
After a family emergency with the kids, I left my job like the drop of a dime. I felt God was telling me my children needed me, and work didn’t. I became a yoga instructor as a side job, so I could teach while the kids were at school. I kept up with the intense yoga practices. Until, one day, I couldn’t. During one of my teacher’s many forced adjustments, something snapped. She would likely say it was a because I wasn’t a real vegan. Or because I was spiritually hindered in some way. Whatever the reason, I couldn’t even walk. So after a year of injury and re-injury, I left the practice. Stopped teaching. And had to reinvent myself once again.
This time, I would focus on my spiritual and physical healing.
As a cradle Catholic, I always took the protections of the Holy Spirit for granted. I took for granted the Tradition that had raised me with such a blessed life. And I never thought a new spiritual practice could confuse me. But indeed, it had. It took a lot of humility to let go of my identity as a “yogi”, that was the admiration of many. I had to search why I allowed this to happen, and if there was a story in there I could tell. So I started to write.
Instead of focusing on my chronic pain, I wanted to focus on the beauty of it. The beauty of life.
Of course, I still have my side business ventures, and I love to explore and reveal the beauty in man made creations that are environmentally conscious and safer.
These days, thankfully - I started physical therapy, and have been feeling better with my chronic pain issues, that tend to rise up less often than before. But what is especially wonderful is that throughout this journey, I have reclaimed my identity; it is no longer attached to what I do, nor is it attached to my opinions.
I am loved. By Him. That is who I am.
I have found the freedom to release those things that the world claims to be “good” but were not good for me, and to speak up, when everyone else wants me to acquiesce.
This is my story. This is what colors my posts and continues to evolve as I learn from my own experiences, but also from you - whenever you comment or message me, to share how something may resonate with you, and why.
So, cheers to this New Year, for fresh new beginnings, and thank you for choosing to see the beauty in this life, when it is so easy to get caught up in the ugly.