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Beauty in pain

Beauty in pain

I know, this one sounds like a downer, but hey, it's a rainy morning that Southern Californians aren't used to, so it tends to bring me towards thoughts that might be a bit overcast, so to speak.

So yes, as you may already assume, I am a wimp when it comes to cool weather, but I rock in the hot, humid weather, so I guess we each have our strengths. I am naturally dry and need little water to survive - I am a true iguana. And iguanas don't like cold rain. We like hot, humid rain!

And it is this very rainy day that brought back a pain that I get about every 2 months or so - one that reminds me to slow down, to take a deep breath, and bust out my inner "Tough Girl"

I have this weird back - it started back when I did crazy hard core yoga that took full advantage of my hyper mobile spine - of that "hinge" I had that made it easy to fold backwards. I overdid it - and I overdid the forward bends, until one day, BAM!! PAIN! Searing pain that wouldn't let me even walk.

During that year, I kept practicing my insane yoga routines, because I was assured it would heal me. And I would feel great, until - BAM! AGAIN! And the cycle would go on, and on, and on...

Until I finally said, "uhhh, no offense, but...I don't want to hurt again like I did before, so yeah, I think I'll pass on crazy yoga." The final straw was when I collapsed during a back bend and crashed right on to my head. Luckily no signs of concussion, but one thing's for sure: I saw things more clearly - I was not cut out to do crazy insane yoga the way I was doing anymore. 

I still get that panicky feeling every time it hints at returning back to full force. 

After a whole lot of appointments with doctors, one doctor said I suffered from a brain thing. So she gave me a medication meant to help with migraines, and it helped with my back pain too.

However, today, this rainy, cold day in Southern Cali, for one second, made the back pain come all over again. And it reminded me to slow down, to be true to who I am and what I can handle. 

Yes, some people are super tough and will think me a baby for complaining of 'back pain' - but if you think about it, your back is involved in a lot of what you do during the day! And even when you sleep - your positioning could help, or irritate your back too!

So, although there could be worse things to have in life, whenever my back pain comes back, I think to be compassionate not only to myself, but to those souls who have this for a lifetime - who have worse sufferings in their life. Where they can't take a minute to sit down or lay down to ease the pain because their families count on them to go to work and keep going.

So today, as I get up and keep trucking, I salute you all who manage pain, suffering, anguish - and set that aside, and put on your "big boy" or "big girl" shoes to keep going. Because it's not easy, but you are beautiful for being an inspiration.

I really believe that if I could get away with lying down all day today - I would. And it wouldn't make things better. But I just pray to God to give me strength and the energy to "just keep swimming" as Dori would say. 

God Bless you and may your pains become less of a burden everyday - as you lift them to Him,

beautiful you.

Beauty in makeup

Beauty in makeup

Beauty in conflict

Beauty in conflict